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Father,

Today, It has been nine months and nineteen days since I left. Three thousand kilometers of distance. This is the longest period of time that we have been apart. I miss you, I remember you all the time.  Suddenly,  I remember things I did not think about  before, suddenly  they all keep jumping in my face, so many memories, some warm, some cold, some tough, and some just beautiful.

Do you know that I can remember the days you were teaching me the Arabic alphabet and the French Alphabet.  Whenever  we have a guest, I run to them and start shouting " A,B,C,D,E,F......." They smile and ask me who thaught you all this, I run to you, I hug you and I say " Dad taught me".  

You took me to the beach, you taught me how to love it, this is why now  the beach is where I find my soul, where my heart feels at home, where I feel  a very strong sense of belonging I dont quite understand. We went to the beach whenever we want, and in summer , It was our real home.  

There, I grew up loving Jaques Brel songs and watching sunset ands sunrise, bathing in every breeze coming from every corner of the ocean.  You gave me every joy a child should have, the happiness a child will never feel again in their life.  

You tought I was the most intelligent student you ever taught, You always told me I will be a prime minister or a University professor. You loved how I enjoyed  reading books , you bought me every book I wanted, we bought old cheap books , you said these are the books I needed to read even if they were so smelly and dusty.  

I grew up knowing you are a great man. I remember when we go out , we meet your old students, they were all grownups, they keep telling you how you were the best teacher they ever had, how you helped them be better students.  

I remember how you got into so much trouble just to make a difference, to make thimgs better, how you almost went to prison for writing an article in a newspaper. Nobody understood why you were so determined to talk about bribes and election manipulation. I didn't understand  it either, I always thought you just loved getting into trouble like my mother used to say. But later, I knew why you did all what you did.

In spring time, we would always sit on the roof, in the sun, we eat those big oranges and we read newspaper. We talk about so many things, I tell you about school and you tell me about those theives who are rubbing our country. You love talking politics with me, maybe because I understand you, and I listen, well, I don't really understand  much when you talk about the seventies Coup d'Etat and all the terrible parties in our government.

Now that I am lonely , now that I miss you so much, I go back to those ordinary mornings, when you wake up so early and you try to make yourself tea while everybody is still asleep. You make so much noise, then me and my brothers start screaming " Dad, we are trying to sleep", you yell back so loud "Sorry kids", but you can't help it, you could never be quiet. You did it almost every morning. Now these memories make me laugh, make me smile, they give me a tremendous joy that fills my heart.

I remember your smile, such a beautiful smile that makes us feel that things are fine, and when you laugh, you laugh so hard and you make us all laugh with you.

You wanted me to have a good job and do something good for my country, I know that you never thought I would leave. But, you let me. When you knew my heart  was not mine anymore, you let me go. Now I know, that was the hardest thing you had to do. I knew it that day when we were at the airport, when you held my husband's hands and you told him" Take care of my daughter" and you cried. I have never seen you cry in my life, even when my mother told me that you cried when my grand-mother died, I couldn't picture that, I couldn't believe it. You cried when you had to let me go. The memory of that day kept me awake for so many nights father.

I don't want your heart to feel sadness for me, my heart doesn't have any for you. I am happy as you always wanted me, like you first named me. You gave me the best childhood a kid could wish for, support and so much love. I am happy I was a good kid and I never caused you problems,though I am so sorry I complained about being poor sometimes, and  kept asking you why we are poor, I know that made you sad. I am sorry. I know you understand, I was a teenager and I wanted stupid cute things like other girls.

Your smile lives in my every morning, your kind touch stands out in my sad days, your blessing words remind me of who I am, your tremendous love lives in my heart, your warm voice gives me company when all voices are gone.

I love you more than I thought I did,  and more than what you think I do.
I wrote this for my father a month ago,and I decided to share it with all of you.

Missing you more than my words can describe



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:iconchristchild6:
christchild6 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
This is awesome.  I wish I had a father like this.  I wrote a poem for mine... very different! 
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:iconparkermushfeeqah:
parkermushfeeqah Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Waaaah! this is the sweetest letter I ever read it made me and my mom cry
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your comment made my day :happycry:
So happy you were moved by it :)
Thank you so much for reading 
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:iconparkermushfeeqah:
parkermushfeeqah Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner May 31, 2013
this is really touching and well written. hope you get to meet your dad soon
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for reading :)
Reply
:icondr7key:
dr7key Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
This is the most touching thing I have ever read! I hope you see him soon :)
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It makes me so happy to hear that from you my dear friend. I'm going home inshaelah after Ramadan Eid. :w00t: Can't wait :excited:
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:icondr7key:
dr7key Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
That's great :D I hope I can meet both of you and Yigit.
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yiğit is nor coming with me :( He will be working :(
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:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
I have tears in my eyes and I only want to say that Now I Understand Why You Are So Beautiful!:tighthug:
I'm sure your father is very proud of you and my only advice for you, my dear Saida is, To Not Let Anyone Disappoint You Ever and I'm sure that your father will be happy.:rose:
Since I've met you here, I felt you are special and You Really Are.:heart:
I send you a big hug and I will end telling you that this is one of the most beautiful letter I've ever read it!:iconflowersplz:
All the best to you and your family, my lovely friend!:tighthug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ow my sweet Selina :happycry: I'm so happy with your beautiful kind words :hug:
I'm honored with your kindness, this letter is so special to me and I'm so happy you loved it:hug:

Thank you for your wishes my beautiful friend. Much love to you my dear:blowkiss:
:iconredroseplz::iconsesam-is-open::iconredroseplz:
Reply
:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
Much love to you too, Saida:heart::tighthug:
:iconbeigerose1plz::iconbeigerose2plz::iconbeigerose3plz::iconrose1plz::iconbeigerose4plz::iconbeigerose5plz::iconbeigerose6plz:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:iconplzhug:
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:iconbluecurse60:
bluecurse60 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012
This is the nicest letter I have ever read.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading:hug:
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:iconbreadth:
breadth Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i am literary speechless.......................... this is sadly beautiful :)

a piece from the heart is always different in its own way :thumbsup:
this is love
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So happy you read it. Thank you so much:bow:
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:iconbreadth:
breadth Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:icontheangstypoet:
TheAngstyPoet Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
I can honestly say (type) that this is the most heart felt thing I have ever read. The corners of my eyes started to well up when you mentioned that your father started to cry.

But this truly strikes my heart in the best way. This is a very well written piece I might add.

If you sent this to him, I'd love to know the reaction. & if you didn't you should!
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very honored with your beautiful comment, It makes me happy that my letter touched your heart, It is very special to me. I'm going home this august and I know I will tell him all these things I wrote for him :nod:
Thank you so much for reading and for your beautiful words my dear:bow:
Reply
:icontheangstypoet:
TheAngstyPoet Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012
Aww that's going to be wonderful :)

You're very welcome.
Reply
:iconmrimade:
mrimade Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012
WOW . it made me cry :( i don't have any words to explain this.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I knew it would make you cry :petting: But I'm happy you got to read it:blowkiss::hug:
Reply
:iconi-c-e-b-l-u-e:
i-c-e-b-l-u-e Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012
He must take pride in raising such a wonderful daugther! ..and ain't life actually a way of sacrifice your life in every way for your kids and family afterall! and yet your feelings couldn't have been expressed any better ! :hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's the greatest thing parents do. Sacrifice :nod:
Thank you so much for reading my friend and for your beautiful words:bow:
Reply
:iconchaosqueen122:
chaosqueen122 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:aww: such lovley words a father could be proud of, I hope your father will read this and be proud of you....and remebers me to call my father more often :aww: :hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That awesome my dear, I'm happy this will make you talk to your dad more often :happybounce: Thank you for kindness my dear friend:hug:
Reply
:iconchaosqueen122:
chaosqueen122 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:hug: :aww: you are very welcome Saida.
Hope you and your father are fine :hug:
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012
It was absolutely beautifully written Saida!:) The love, the bond and the memories you have with your father, are so lovely!!! Thank you for sharing this with us!:heart::blowkiss::hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading dear Alecia:hug: So happy you enjoyed it.
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:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012
The pleasure's all mine, dear friend!:huggle:
Reply
:iconprecious-jewels:
precious-jewels Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thanks for sharing something so personal... very personal... very sad :hug:
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading my dear:bow:
Reply
:iconsublime-ape:
sublime-ape Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012
you captured the essence of father-daughter relationship so beautifully! i got gooseflesh reading this.

the world needs more fathers (and daughters) like this. thanks for sharing, saida. :hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading and for the beautiful words:bnow: So happy you liked it.
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
a beautiful letter for someone as awesome as your father. i wish there were more dads like him, i wish one of them were mine. :bow:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much my dear for reading. I appreciate your kindness.You are right, not everybody in this world is as lucky to have great parents :(
Thank you again.:hug:
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A beautiful letter. This has to be my favorite letter I have read on deviantart. The personal touch of this letter really adds to the relationship between you and your father. You must love him a lot.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the beautiful comment. Very happy you liked this letter. You are absolutely right. I love him so much :)
Thank you so much for reading :bow: Very much appreciated:bow:
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome! It was a beautiful letter, I was only expressing my gratitude.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your father is proud to have a daughter like you. This is truly heartfelt. And very much something I would consider remarkable.

I'm happy you wrote that letter. I'm grateful to know that there're people here on dA who feel like me - that the old order should, in some form or the other, be kept alive. And letters is a part of that order.

:hug: You really are brave, and so is your father. My kindest regards to you and your family, and my sincerest blessings to your father.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading :bow: I deeply appreciate it :salute: Your kind words mean so much to me:hug:

So nice of you, thank you so much.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)

you're a brilliant writer. Something about your writing that just... has so much depth to it... really...

Makes me want to start writing a letter... :hug: I might actually do that. Thanks.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That gives me so much happiness and honor to inspire others :happycry: Thank you so much:bow:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome :)
Reply
:iconultramarine7:
Ultramarine7 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That was simply stunning and beautiful! It was thoroughly enjoyable to read, and it was touching. I loved it.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the beautiful comment. Thank you for reading my dear:bow:
Reply
:iconandreaseesstarz:
andreaseesstarz Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thats the best thing in my entire stack of watch messages :heart: Very nice of you to share such a personal thing! :hug:
Reply
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