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Submitted on
April 19, 2012
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81

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The gentle touch of your lips on my cold forehead
The soft kiss on my  palms, and I wake up, I look at you
You say It's morning, you say you love me, then you leave
Do you know what you leave behind , It is not me

Now, the world is black and white, all is concrete and ugly
The walls are pure cement and sand, and open land
There are weeds growing on the bed, and I cannot leave
When the black and white world sits behind my back,

Watches, waits for me to move,  I will not move
Keeps taking all the light, dims my hopes and breathes my air
I cannot look, I cannot pray, I cannot make a sound
I crawl in bed, my arms around my knees, I wait for you

The day is almost dead, and now you are home
You take me in, you dip me in a big bucket of rainbow
You soak my every cell with every color that is
And I am me again, I can see again, I can breathe again

And my black and white world crawls down my legs
With his tiny wrinkled  hands, he runs in shame
Hides behind the door, waits for the next morning
When you leave, he sneaks back to my bedroom

Sits right behind me, breathes my air, and I cannot look
Will I make it today, will he spare my life today
I cry voicless, I cease, then I cry again
Love,... Love,...
God,...
This poem makes me scared near the end, and gives me a shiver.

Happy to hear what you think guys :salute:




Add a Comment:
 
:iconsunshyneraynbow:
SunshyneRaynbow Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Beautiful piece. Lack of punctuation makes it a bit hard to read, but that just might be because Im sick
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you my dear:bow: I think there is enough punctuation :) but maybe not enough cause the whole story is told by someone who is scared and terrified.
Hope you get well soon :petting:
Reply
:iconmustafasezer:
MustafaSEZER Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Amazing,thank you so much dear friend for sharing :hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for reading :bow:
Reply
:iconmustafasezer:
MustafaSEZER Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
My pleasure dear friend :)
Reply
:iconevryrosehasitsthorns:
evryrosehasitsthorns Featured By Owner May 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think most of my world is pretty black and white. It's gotten blacker and whiter with time. I used to have an imagination that ran rampant, eyes that saw the multitude of colors in the vast world around me, ears that heard the lulling sounds of nature, skin that felt the warmth of the sun... Most of the 'color' in my life is from reminiscence, spurts of happiness talking to a select few, and spurts of mania every now and then. To have someone who could just bring all the color rushing back... That'd be nice.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner May 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's really hard when that happens to you. I can imagine how bad it can get. I hope you find a way out. Someone who can offer you a rainbow one day.
Thank you so much for reading:bow:
Reply
:iconevryrosehasitsthorns:
evryrosehasitsthorns Featured By Owner May 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. =] And you're very welcome.
Reply
:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
Amazing. When the person you love is the only thing in your life that puts a smile on your face, it's beautiful and tragic at the same time. I feel this way quite often and people tell me that it's not right. They say happiness should not be contingent on your relationship with one person. I guess it's true, but sometimes I can't help myself. Anyway,enough of my rambling. This is a gorgeous poem. I relate to this world of black and white. :hug:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Believe me my friend, you are right to feel that way, your happiness can depend on that person alone. This poem is just about how I feel sometimes when my husband leaves for work( I got married 6 months ago :) ) It feels like if he is not there with me then the whole world doesn't make any sense, nothing is the same or worth it.

I'm happy you loved my poem, I highly appreciate your opinion my dear :hug:
Reply
:iconetherealopolis:
Etherealopolis Featured By Owner May 2, 2012
This is a conflict that you'll win. Someday soon I hope you'll know why you are bathed in rainbows by your beloved. I love your poetry!
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner May 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. Much appreciated :bow:
Reply
:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
To be honest I don't think I understand the last Stanza bit other then that. So deep and emotional I could accually picture how you feel in my head. Black & white when your alone. However when you see him again colors and love. I must say it scared me at first. I hope I got it right. Because this is my longest comment ever. Bravo with this.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You understood the poem well my dear :hug: I appreciate your beautiful comment . Thank you so much :bow:
Reply
:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012
Not bad for written at 2:00 am. Was cute!:huggle:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Not bad for being written at 2am :?I think it's one of my best poems. Poems are about the concept, the idea, and the execution. It doesn't really matter if it takes hours or days.
And, I don't think it's cute at all. It's heartbreaking and sad.
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012
Yes, you're very right!!! Have no idea what I was thinking!!!!!!!^^; Hope I didn't offend you!:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconfellforthesharks:
fellforthesharks Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful! I love this. I know how this feels. You personified the feeling really really well.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for your kind comment. Thank you for reading:bow:
Reply
:iconjochannon:
jochannon Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
I like your work: if you ever want to get published, please look me up: [link]
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ow thank you so much.:dalove:
Reply
:icondr7key:
dr7key Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
The first 3 stanzas are quite dramatic, very well pictured of how you feel when he leaves, you added so much impact to the whole of it when you choose the black and white imagery, very good choice of words to fit within this context. The 4th stanza is my favorite, it just breathes a new a soul to the poem, a very well-worked turning point. However, I couldn't quite understand the last one fully, but it leaves room for interpretation. Apart from that, there is nothing to be scared of as long as you have faith in God!
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What a beautiful analysis you just gave me my dear Mehdi :hug:
You totally understood the poem :salute: And you are right, maybe at the end the speaker ( me :giggle:)can find comfort in their belief, in their trust in God.
Thank you so much my dear friend, your opinion is always highly appreciated :bow:
Reply
:icondr7key:
dr7key Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
You're welcome, dear friend. Your works always fascinate me, and a well-versed poem deserves a well-written comment :)
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you Mehdi :la:
:iconaawplz:
Reply
:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
I think that the man who is loved in this way, was touched by an angel wing.:heart:
You are an angel, Saida!:tighthug::rose:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much my dear Selina:blowkiss: I give him all the love İ can carry in my heart.
What you said to me is the sweetest and most beautiful thing I ever been told :happycry: I cannot thank you enough for your beautiful kindness :hug:
Much love to you my dear :heart:
Reply
:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
:iconhugglesplz:Take care of you.:heart:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:iconaawplz::blowkiss:
Reply
:iconblackrose12007:
BlackRose12007 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
wow
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:bow:
Reply
:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
This is beautiful and very different. I love the format.:huggle:
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are right, It is different. I'm so happy you love it. Thank you my dear :bow:
Reply
:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
You're very welcome, dear friend.
Reply
:icongalebron:
galebron Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
Words so easy to image, perfect picture of feeling, I need to share this one with friends (if you don't mind). For now it's in my backpocket.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for your comment. I wouldn't mind at all. What's good with poetry if we don't share it. I'm honored. Thank you :bow:
Reply
:iconcybertaz13:
cybertaz13 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::hug::hug::hug:::clap::clap::clap::w00t: good job^x^
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much :dalove:
Reply
:iconcybertaz13:
cybertaz13 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
you are most certainly welcome^x^
Reply
:iconsunshyneraynbow:
SunshyneRaynbow Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Student General Artist
very nicely done darlin
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much dear. Thank you for reading :dalove:
Reply
:iconstroking4life:
stroking4life Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow that's beautiful. it sort of scared me too. I can see why it would make you feel that way, esp. at two am
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your comment. I'm happy you could feel that too, means I did good :dalove:
Reply
:iconi-c-e-b-l-u-e:
i-c-e-b-l-u-e Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. I absolutely love that song :la: Thank you :iconaawplz:
Reply
:iconi-c-e-b-l-u-e:
i-c-e-b-l-u-e Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
:iconsomehugsplz::iconyourewelcomebubble::la:
Reply
:iconsamuraichai7:
samuraichai7 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
love it.
Reply
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :dalove:
Reply
:iconriflight:
RiFlight Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's some strong imagery in this poem. It makes me want to write something else. :)
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